This blog has now moved!

We have merged the blog posts into the Little Troopers website so everything is in one easy place for you.

To follow Louise's blogposts on her deployment journey and keep up with all the news from the Little Troopers charity head over to Little Troopers Blog

Living in the land of Limbo

Hi, my name is Louise and I am currently living in Limbo, but

 I don't like it and I'm not very good at it.

We had a tour start date of 10th Jan, got my head around this then it changed to later in the month. Right now we are in state limbo....the dictionary definition of this is: 'an uncertain situation that you cannot control and in which there is no progress or improvement' yup that is right where we are.

My husband is on leave before some pre-training, we still have some time to go so not completely in 'he's off tomorrow mode' I have made some lists and tried to be a little organised but right now there is not much I can do other than.....SIT......AND.........WAIT for D Day, not that I want deployment day to come but we are all waiting for it like the bloody number 4 bus.

We are totally skint because he's off work at the moment and everyday its like "Shall we get a takeaway, I mean you are going away soon" "Shall we go out for lunch, we should spent time together because you go away soon" my waistline is increasing and my bank balance isn't shrinking, its shrunk. 

I am craving routine and normality and my body is telling me I am stressed....I have a raging stye in one eye, mouth ulcers and just feel a bit on edge. It absolutely isn't that I want him to go away of course I don't but we are all here just sat waiting for the inevitable and boy I know whats waiting for me.....those first two weeks of hell! I just feel like I'd like to just dig in and get that crappy first emotional little bit done and grab the deployment with both hands and for routine to prevail so I can get into my groove, you know?

I want to start ticking days off

As we had a bit more time before he goes we have a few more memory making bits booked in the diary...more deployment money we are spending before we even have started but still it IS important to make those memories prior to a deployment it just feels like its been for about three weeks we've been in this mode!

I am trying to relish this period for the little time we have left but it is exhausting, everything I say I feel like oh but he's off soon, should I have said that? I don't want to bicker, I want it to be perfect so my memory vision is perfect. Every time he holds my hand and it's all warm I want to blink and add it to my minds memory box, every time I have a cuddle and hear his heartbeat I want to really etch it on my brain and every time we do something I want to take photos.

Perfect doesn't exist, we all know that so a day at a time skidding through this weird limbo period. If you too have a deployment on the horizon, lets limbo together because I'm finding it pretty tricky and would welcome you on the ride with me! 

Lots of love, Louise xxx

Pre Deployment getaway and my recommendations for your Little Troopers

When we found out that my husband was going on a long deployment in 2018 I felt like I just wanted to book something and go away and hide from the world for a weekend.

I wanted to overdose on my husband

We went to the seaside for one night and then the New Forest for one night and it was idyllic and perfect and we laughed lots while making memories. Next month it is 15 years since we got married and we realised this weekend was the FIRST time we have gone away for the weekend without our daughter and for no particular reason, which is shocking. We, you, everyone should make time especially when we spend so long apart from each other, this is our seventh long operational tour...why have we not done a pre-deployment break before?

Mudeford in Dorset

Typically my husbands deployment date has changed and he now doesn't go until the end of the month so the break was a bit premature but still, I loved it and I took in the views and the sea air promising myself to remember those moments when I am really resentful to him being away four months into the deployment!!!

The Mill at Gorleton, New Forest

I did drink slightly too much red vino on the second night and ended up crying, to which the lovely lady at the hotel asked why, I explained, she started crying.....so I guess I am potentially suppressing some feelings but that is natural, I can't spend the next few weeks crying I am determined to try and do things differently this time and wasting time being sad while I could be enjoying the time just seems silly. I have done that previously and it's miserable.

The time we have now before he deploys I want to aim to be organised, get my diary full for the coming months and I will blog some checklists that I am going to put together as we go along so I can share as much as possible which may help you now or one day in the future.

My recommendations for your Little Troopers when they have Mummy and/or Daddy away

Through my work with Little Troopers I have discovered a few really good sites, products, ideas that I wish I had known about when our daughter was a little younger, we all feel helpless sometimes when your children are really struggling with a deployment and hopefully these ideas will empower you to find ways to ease the separation.

On the Little Troopers website is a specific Parents section, with information on Keeping in Touch, Coping, Homecoming and lots more. See HERE 

Books can sometimes really help, it is limited what is out there for British Armed Forces children (we are working on a project to fix this) for now though we have read and had reviewed the books that we would recommend and could help you right now, lots of options for all ages and you can view the Recommended Reads list HERE 

Pillowcases

In a recent post I mentioned the photo pillowcase I bought for my husband (which he loves!) but Amy who run Ginger Rainbow and is a military wife also has colour in pillowcases which parent and child could do together and parent takes away or child has at home or child could do and send. Either way a good idea I liked and can be found HERE  (£15)

Huggable Heroes

Jo is a military wife who runs the business creating Huggable Heroes, really great to have them in the UK now as when my daughter was younger I wanted one but only the US were making them (Daddy Dolls) and the shipping was expensive. Head over to the Huggable Heroes site for all the details or photo you need to send, children can take their 'hero' to nursery, nap time, special occasions even though they are away from home! Shop HERE (£25)

Worry Monster Frame

Another military wife doing amazingly and this time it is Sara, her worry monsters I have only just found (via Instagram, you can follow me @louiselittletroopers) it is a simple idea of children being able to 'pass on' any worries at the end of each day which I love and can really see lots of children benefiting from having these. Head over to the Etsy shop HERE (£23.99)

Reading Force

A family book club scheme specifically for military families and free to sign up to. all members of the family read the same book which you get sent and then you can talk about it, ignites conversation while on the phone! See HERE

Countdown Chalkboards

Very simple idea which children love and easy to amend if days get added to deployment, I just googled and they seem to be really expensive these days?! We have some in our shop for £6.50 very limited stock left though See HERE (£6.50) 

Cloud Pets

Really cute and many recommend these for little ones, a soft toy that links to an app and messages can be sent back and forth through the toy. See HERE 

Obviously there is lots of support available via Little Troopers specifically to help children who have a military parent serving away from home; Separation Packs, Send a Hug kits, Little Troopers Treasures story recording app, Separation journals, Weekly planner sheets, Activity sheets for countdown jars, separation paper chains and much more so do pop to www.littletroopers.net and get your hands on that support, lots of it is free.

I wish I could find a pause button as I know its going to be a rocky 2018 but I am buckled up and ready for the ride, I know I can do this, preparation is key! 

Love Louise xxx