and then there were two.....

Its a miserable Monday morning after a very long, quiet weekend, we are eight days into a period of separation and I have realised just how much I rely on the charity for support when my soldier is away, the Facebook page is a lovely community of people who are all going through the same thing which is so comforting to me right now.

It has been four years since my husband and I have experienced a separation of longer than a couple of weeks so it has been a real adjustment, I am SO bad at goodbyes even after all the practise I have had! I feel sick and become very quiet the day before knowing what is coming and then saying goodbye it doesn't matter where he is going I feel like my heart breaks a bit every time.

Luckily it was very late at night so our Little Trooper was tucked up and woke the next day really positive, I got up the next day feeling strong and determined to not have a black cloud over my week.

Separation is hard, it doesn't matter where your partner going (war or otherwise), how many months your partner is away for...its difficult, emotional and a real test of your resolve.
So many service personnel are away right now for a long time away from their families, its not in the news and you don't always hear about it but its happening and I want to highlight that.
To all those who tell me not so...The charity is NEEDED all the time because separation of British Armed Forces families is ALWAYS happening.

I posted an image on Facebook the day my soldier went away which many liked and shared and commented on because we all know the feeling...

One comment made me cry, lots of very real tears;

"I said goodbye a month ago yesterday and have to wait until 5th Dec to see him again, so far he has missed our sons first word, standing up, clapping his hands, my 21st birthday and our first wedding anniversary today"

I cried because I got it, I've been there. So many things people take for granted and military families have big gaps in their lives where things have been missed, memories are missing, occasions aren't what they should be and bonds with Little Troopers are affected.

If nothing else take away from this blogpost that so many families are separated right now, so many strong women are surviving and so many Little Troopers continue to need the resources the charity provides.

Have a great week, I am going to really try and be strong and put our Little Trooper separation pack to full use! See pack here

Louise xxx

We're made of stern stuff...thankfully!

What a summer it has been!

I am sure many of you just like us have been packing your lives into boxes and going on the move to new postings, our move went pretty smoothly and after 6 weeks I don't need to use the Sat Nav to get to Tesco's anymore! It always takes me a few weeks to find homes for everything and figure out the space and squidge all our furniture in but once the bunting is up anywhere feels like home!

Unfortunately just a couple of weeks after we moved my Little Trooper got rushed into hospital and after a few days on the children's ward had her appendix out but recovered really well and was determined to start her new school just 6 days after her operation!

Me & My brave Little Trooper post op

I've no doubt over the last week or so lots of Little Troopers have started new schools and I know my little girl makes me so proud how well she deals with it, unfortunately as our postings have worked out and her age it seems its a new school every September for 6 years is on the cards....she's done 4 so 2 more to go!

Last week my husband ventured off on a few months away which we'd all prepared ourselves for but another wave of bad luck he got very poorly and was returned home, he will be off for a long while recovering.

Luckily the situations we find ourselves in as military families means we are strong individuals and can cope with what life throws at us....although I have cried lots of tears! Together we are stronger, together we face what we have too and together we have started our new chapter.

I really hope everyone has had a great Summer and all the Little Troopers are settled back in school, I'm looking forward to the Autumn as there are lots of exciting things coming for Little Troopers everywhere and I really can't wait to share them with you!

Don't forget the Me & My Soldier 2016 Calendar competition is open and the closing date is 20th September so do enter as soon as possible, read more here

Lots of Love,

Louise xxxx

Guest Post - Our Married Unaccompanied life

I want to get as many insights into the different ways we live as military families, this post is from a family who live married unaccompanied. If you would be interested in writing a blogpost let me know! Louise xx

The Allen Family:

We live separately not through choice but through circumstances, my husband left the army shortly after we married in 2001 and joined the police force. We moved out of our home town for this and 6 years later and two children he re-joined the Army! This was no easy situation, however we muddled through. I decided to stay in our home town as our first child was about to start primary school and we had only recently arrived back in our home town of Torquay in Devon.  When I met my husband, I had a good career in local authority employment and had bought several properties on my own. Whilst married we had our own property and I did not want to lose a “home” for married quarters. For me, I wanted the same school throughout the early years.
 

His first posting back in was Op Herrick 10! My worst fear but we got through the time with my good friends and family around us and our sons school were an amazing support. On his return, we settled into the commuting at weekend’s lifestyle. He has so far been at four different locations and 2 tours of Afghanistan! Employment for me is excruciatingly difficult being unaccompanied. But that’s another story!
 

It can be a lonely time during the week but I keep busy and the children and I have settled into our little routines, I encourage them to do outside school activities as much as possible to make the week pass quickly. I personally do feel often; very isolated from the Army community and even forget I am an Army wife at times. I do get bogged down with the daily grind of lonely nights, not being able to go out in the week unless I pay an expensive sitter, always attending sports days, parent evening, school plays  etc. alone; but I have accustomed to it.  Military social media groups keep me in the loop too!
 

Our children are now 12 and 8 but our youngest suffers with separation issues, she is my little “cling on” but is also a daddy’s girl, she adores anything military related, camo coloured clothes,  DM boots (preferably green/sand coloured) and every Hero’s day at school, dresses as Dad. She is rather well known for it around her school now! Our eldest struggles with the thought of another tour or gets very emotional if Afghanistan is mentioned or talked about but he tends to hide it and just says, “don’t talk about it, It makes me cry” Thankfully we do visit barracks on occasions but we don’t know anyone on site as we are not there often enough.
 

I ask myself daily why don’t we just move to MQ? I guess many would and do ask the same – My answer is always because although both our children want us to live together, neither want to leave their school and friends either. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way here; but I think I made the right choice.
 

My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures is a site I found when my husband was on his second Op Herrick tour (17) – this was a particularly difficult tour for all of us but the separation packs and support for Little Troopers; as you call them, is just wonderful.  This is our children’s only link with the military world and makes them both feel a little special to be part of it.
 

Thank you for all you do at My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

Me...Mum of the Year?!

On Sunday 1st March 2015 I stood on a stage at The Savoy in London and accepted an award for Tesco Supportive Mum of the Year 2015.

I was in a room of people celebrating women who have achieved great things, causes they are truly passionate about and it was a great place for me to be reiterating that children of soldiers don't always have it easy and there must be a support community for them.

I felt so honored to have people listen to the story of how My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures came  about and to see my Little Trooper, Madison on a big screen telling everyone how it has helped her made everything worth it.

"Children are so resilient though"

So many say this to me, they are little people with feelings and emotions and sometimes we need to be their holding hand and help them process those feelings when they are scared, frightened, worried or just missing their soldier and if I can be that holding hand and can ease that separation period with My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures then we are achieving what I want.

A visit to 10 Downing Street the day after the awards was also a fantastic opportunity, we met Nicky Morgan Secretary of State for Education. I wanted to speak with her about the Service pupil premium that schools receive as I feel passionately that schools need guidance on that...will keep you posted!

Tesco Mum of the Year has been amazing, new friends met and so many memories made but as always this isn't about me it is about raising awareness of the challenges British Army families face on a daily basis and highlighting why this support is needed.

Many tears were shed on Sunday at the awards ceremony and so many mummy's in one place all proving that women with a passion can achieve anything.

Thanks Tesco, its been a blast!

Louise xxx

p.s Blue was a bit of a highlight too!!

Me & My Soldier Calendar 2015

Throughout September 2014 we were asking for image entries for our Me & My Soldier 2015 calendar, I am always astounded by the volume of entries which increases year on year and the special moments captured that people are willing to share and let others have a peek into their life as a British Army Family.

Entries came in from families based all over the world and judging the competition was such a tough job for myself and the trustees but we eventually decided on 12 images plus a front cover and they are just adorable with a further 27 being too good not to feature so we squeezed them onto the back cover....we just wish every image entered could feature but its just not possible.

Once again when we launched the calendar and the winning images we were really lucky that they featured in many national newspapers, its always a mad dash to the newsagents to buy the papers and I lay them all out and smile, a very proud smile.

So many pre orders have come in for the calendar which has just gone into print and will be ready for dispatch mid November 2014 ready for Christmas presents!

It is so special and I just love that the calendar strikes a cord with so many, I hope you enjoy the images month on month throughout 2015.

Buy your calendar HERE

The reason....

It has been a while since a blogpost, I always think they should come from the heart and my heart has been touched recently; over the months I meet so many families, wonderful people and adorable Little Troopers.....ALL special but sometimes a situation touches me and makes me even more determined to reach as many British Army families as possible.

Increasingly we get turned down for funding, people saying that our cause isn't t worthy or  'sensational' enough but I know that everyone who has leaned on the charity would disagree, its a needed charity, it's one of a kind and it is supporting thousands on very little income. The emails and comments we receive on a daily basis show Little Troopers DO face unique challenges due to their parents serving and they DO require support, resources and recognition especially when a soldier parent is away.

The world is changing, people live differently and everyones situation is individual yet support never seemed adaptable...people divorce, people choose not to marry, people choose to buy their own house, people choose to be unaccompanied, but one thing remains the common thread children have soldiers who serve in the British Army and they are sent away for varying times due to their job.

In the summer we ran an event in Colchester, a lovely lady attended with her two little boys and her story really struck a cord and I tell many people their story because it proves the point I am always trying to make;

They were mid twenties, had a house and two children....one day her partner decided he wanted to join the Army, a decision which she supported, 7 months later he had done training and was in Afghanistan, her life had been turned upside down in a matter of months, it was an alien environment to her, they hadn't managed to move into Army housing and lived miles away from her partners base, she felt isolated and her children needed slowly integrating into their new life. She sought out My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures and here she was at an event miles from home wanting to get support and be part of the My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures Community. I think that day she showed real bravery.

I have followed their journey and received a lovely email this week from the family thanking us for the support, the events, the separation packs they bought, the panto tickets they won....we have helped and eased the pain of the separation for those children and their mummy and given the soldier the knowledge his family was supported. We have achieved our main objective as a charity.

I know that this charity matters and families who make an impression make it worthwhile, all the people we connect with make it worthwhile. Everyone has their own story, their own situation but one thing is certain the community that is growing is supporting everyone with a soldier parent............regardless.

2012...what a year!

WOW what a year 2012 was, we provided events across the country for over 1272, we had over 15,000 visits to our blog and met so many special Little Troopers.

The biggest thing for many is a community is growing, friendships are being forged and the support is very real and people can draw so much from being with others living a similar life.

Not rank dependant, not regiment dependant, not location dependant, not corps dependant just dependant on you being a British Army family and wanting to be part of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

Something really special is evolving and it has honestly been one of the most amazing years of my life and we cant wait for more of you to join our community and the adventures we go on with the Little Troopers!

Heres to 2013 but first....heres a reminder of an amazing 2012!!!!

Little Troopers....very special children

A Little Trooper is a child of a serving British Army soldier, doesn't matter how old they are they will always be a Little Trooper! Over the last year we have met lots and lots of Little Troopers, in fact we have run events for over 1,000 already since December 2011.
They are the reason My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures exists and they are the reason we have spent so many great days running various events across the country this year.

Children of soldiers' are special, they are resilient and strong but they also face unique challenges on a daily basis often being separated from a parent when they are sent away from the family home on duty for long periods of time.

After events Little Troopers come and thank us for running the event when really we should be thanking them, for being such joys to work with and such a rewarding group of children. They clearly get so much from being in the company of other British Army children where there is an unspoken understanding that all in the room 'get it' and they are, for that day, distracted from their current situation which maybe that they haven't spoken to Mummy or Daddy for a couple of weeks.

We were sent a letter recently a Little Trooper sent to his Mums workplace, we cried tears that the charity and events had obviously made and impact and we want to share his words:

My name is XXXXX and I am 12.  My mum works for XXXXXX and has done for a long time. 

I am writing to you for help in donating to My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures which is a charity that has helped me and my sister a lot and I want to help them back.  My dad is a soldier and is away a lot, he is away now and has been for 6 months.   My daddy is a soldier was set up by 2 army mums who organise fun days and weekends for military children whilst their mum or dad is away.  I have been on lots since my dad went away, I got to go to their xmas party in London and Harrods gave us a xmas present, I had football training with Chelsea Football Club and learnt to make pasta with Jamie Oliver but what means more to me is I got to meet and make new friends.

Making new friends is the most important to me as I can share how I feel because I know they are missing their dads too.  We help each other because I know when I am sad it makes my mum sad too and I know my mum really misses my dad when he is away.

My dad is going to Afghan at xmas and I really really hope we can raise lots of money for them so I can continue to meet lots of new friends.

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you can help?

THANK YOU to all the Little Troopers for the smiles we witness, the laughs we see and the strong children you are and continue to be.

To close this blogpost we wanted to share the poem of the Military Child:

The official flower of the Military child is the Dandelion. Why?

The plant puts down roots almost anywhere, and it's almost impossible to destroy. It's an unpretentious plant, yet good looking.

It's a survivor in a broad range of climates.

Military children bloom everywhere the winds carry them. They are hardy and upright. Their roots are strong, cultivated deeply in the culture of the military,...... planted swiftly and surely. They're ready to fly in the breezes that take them to new adventures, new lands, and new friends

.

Military children are well-rounded, culturally aware, tolerant, and extremely resilient. Military children have learned from an early age that home is where their hearts are, that a good friend can be found in every corner of the world and in every color, and that education doesn't only come from school. They live history.

They learn that to survive means to adapt, that the door that closes one chapter of their life opens up to a new and exciting adventure full of new friends and new experiences.  

FOR THE LITTLE TROOPERS AT HOME

Going full circle...

I'm not from a particularly military background, my grandad was in the Navy but that's about it I think. I joined up through a complete if you can't beat them join them scenario and before I knew it I was being flown out to Germany to my first unit after a whirlwind of basic and trade training. There I stayed until 2006.

It was the best years of my life serving in the British Army, I loved it, I grew as a person, I learnt so much, I met so many life long friends, laughed so hard, earned a medal, had so many life changing experiences and of course I met my man! It honestly was THE best days of my life.

Various circumstances followed and I ended up leaving the forces and being a mummy. I went back to my old job in my old unit but as a civilian with better hours than I had when I was serving! I bobbed along in the Army bubble for a few more years.

It's a strange bubble, your post goes to the regiment not your house, my hoover belonged to the army, the magazines you were reading in Germany were a week out of date, we had to buy fuel coupons to get petrol, you worked and lived and socialised with the same people it honestly can be all consuming.

We got posted to UK and quite frankly I wanted to eradicate all Army from my life, I wanted to run away from it, for so long it had been my whole life, my job, social network, my everything.

We made a decision to buy a house, I went back to college, started a corporate job role, our little one started a predominantly non military school and we lived 40 minutes away from the barracks...I'd got what I wanted. A civilian life wholly and completely.

It was great...for a little while.

Then I realised that the community, the help of that community and the security blanket the Army had always given me had gone. I felt naked.

The last tour taught me many things and one very important lesson which has now lead to the creation of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures, we all NEED each other, we all understand this strange army life and we can all be one community. That's what we want to achieve.

I've come full circle, right back to where I started...I've fallen in love again with this strange army life and I'm proud of what we represent. 'Im proud to have served and I'm proud to be an army family and lets all stick together.

Here's to creating a supportive, valuable community we can ALL rely on in this strange army life.

xxx

Makes it worthwhile....

The last couple of months have been overwhelming, tough, a huge learning curve and to be honest a little stressful.

This week we have received emails for the Christmas Party, requesting your children be added to the list, so many people are in situations where My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures will help and so many of the emails bring a tear to my eye. Why?
Emotionally I may bury the scars of deployment but; I know that feeling of being on your own, partner on tour and the desperation of 'I need to get out this house', do something with my child(ren) that's fun and uplifting, wear a smile and be with others that understand and where I don't have to explain my situation or why it might be hard right now. Be in a comfort zone.

Something huge that has come to our notice recently is that many of you, myself soon to be included, are married unaccompanied and that has its unique challenges too along with deployment and I want to support you guys.

So what makes it worthwhile?! YOU DO, knowing that we can all get together with our children this Christmas and celebrate our soldiers, this odd life we call 'Army Life' and be proud of our Little Troopers at home...

My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures  Free Christmas Party is on 21st December 2011 12.30 - 4pm at The Victory Services Club in central London http://www.vsc.co.uk/ Santa, Entertainment, Food, Disco and much more! Email xmas@mydaddyisasoldieradventures.org with the children attending and ages.

We can not wait to meet you all xxx