It never gets any easier

Firstly I feel really bad that the blog has been somewhat neglected! its nearly a whole YEAR since I last wrote a blogpost but the charity work with Little Troopers has been so so busy with the launch of our Little Troopers Treasures app and the Little Troopers at School project, can't believe its August already.

I tend to want to blog when I am in a reflective place wanting to share my thoughts and feelings on a situation I am in. As I always say I am living and breathing this military family life...my husband is serving, I have a daughter, we living in military housing, we move a lot...I am right there with all of you who are also living it.

At 0300hrs my husband got up in the night put on his uniform and went out the door, we won't see him again for a few months as he deploys overseas.

He has been away so much in the 17 years I have known him, we've been married 14 of those years. I've been a serving soldier, I have been the one going away on deployments and it really is easier being the one going away, you are busy and distracted, surrounded by people 24/7 so time seems to pass faster. He would probably disagree!

Many say to me "you must get used to it I suppose" Nope, I don't "it must get easier" Nope, it doesn't "you are made of strong stuff, you'll be fine" Yup I am and I am sure I will be. BUT I absolutely feel it gets harder the longer I am in this game, I get more anxious, it takes longer in that readjustment period once they have gone and I seem to miss him more. Its like wading through treacle sometimes.

On the positives I have learnt over the years how I deal with separation best, I now have the awesome Little Troopers community to draw from, I have developed coping mechanisms and my friends right by my side. So it isn't all treacle wading!

This time he hasn't gone anywhere dangerous "at least he's not going to war" yes I suppose all those people who have said that to me the last week are right, he isn't and thank god because I really didn't cope well with Iraq or Afghanistan and I truly believe those deployments changed me as a person (that's another blog post) but wherever he goes it is away, there is a time difference, communication is sporadic and I can't bloody ring him to tell him the cat has been sick on the bloody carpet AGAIN and I hate cleaning it up.

Even the cat didn't want him to go!

My Little Trooper is not so little she's 14 now and very aware he's going away for a few months and got a bit moody about it but didn't want to talk, she clung on to him a little tighter last night when he said goodbye. She's good company when he is away and once the Summer holidays are over routine will prevail! Teenagers are hard though, just like babies and toddlers are, it is just a different set of challenges....should I let her go to Thorpe Park on her own?! suddenly I have to make that decision on my own because he is away and I really don't know the answer.

I will blog throughout this deployment because I want every other military spouse out there with a partner away to know we are all finding our way through this military life, we are all in this together and hopefully can take strength from each other.

I'm right here living it with you. 

I text my husband when he was boarding his flight and said "I'm sad" and he replied "Don't be poppet be positive, it will go quicker" he's right...lets be positive, together.

Love Louise xxx