I want to get as many insights into the different ways we live as military families, this post is from a family who live married unaccompanied. If you would be interested in writing a blogpost let me know! Louise xx
The Allen Family:
We live separately not through choice but through
circumstances, my husband left the army shortly after we married in 2001
and joined the police force. We moved out of our home town for this and
6 years later and two children he re-joined the Army! This was no easy
situation, however we muddled through. I decided to stay in
our home town as our first child was about to start primary school and
we had only recently arrived back in our home town of Torquay in Devon.
When I met my husband, I had a good career in local authority
employment and had bought several properties on my own. Whilst married
we had our own property and I did not want to lose a “home” for married
quarters. For me, I wanted the same school throughout the early years.
His
first posting back in was Op Herrick 10! My worst fear but we got through
the time with my good friends and family around us and our sons school
were an amazing support. On his return, we settled into the commuting at
weekend’s lifestyle. He has so far been at four different locations and
2 tours of Afghanistan! Employment for me is excruciatingly difficult
being unaccompanied. But that’s another story!
It can be a
lonely time during the week but I keep busy and the children and I have
settled into our little routines, I encourage them to do outside school
activities as much as possible to make the week pass quickly. I
personally do feel often; very isolated from the Army community and even
forget I am an Army wife at times. I do get bogged down with the daily
grind of lonely nights, not being able to go out in the week unless I
pay an expensive sitter, always attending sports days, parent evening,
school plays etc. alone; but I have accustomed to it. Military social
media groups keep me in the loop too!
Our children are now 12
and 8 but our youngest suffers with separation issues, she is my little
“cling on” but is also a daddy’s girl, she adores anything military
related, camo coloured clothes, DM boots (preferably green/sand
coloured) and every Hero’s day at school, dresses as Dad. She is rather
well known for it around her school now! Our eldest struggles with the
thought of another tour or gets very emotional if Afghanistan is
mentioned or talked about but he tends to hide it and just says, “don’t
talk about it, It makes me cry” Thankfully we do visit barracks on
occasions but we don’t know anyone on site as we are not there often
enough.
I ask myself daily why don’t we just move to MQ? I
guess many would and do ask the same – My answer is always because
although both our children want us to live together, neither want to
leave their school and friends either. I don’t think there is a right or
wrong way here; but I think I made the right choice.
My Daddy
is a Soldier Adventures is a site I found when my husband was on his second
Op Herrick tour (17) – this was a particularly difficult tour for all of us
but the separation packs and support for Little Troopers; as you call
them, is just wonderful. This is our children’s only link with the
military world and makes them both feel a little special to be part of
it.
Thank you for all you do at My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.
