Guest Post - Our Married Unaccompanied life

I want to get as many insights into the different ways we live as military families, this post is from a family who live married unaccompanied. If you would be interested in writing a blogpost let me know! Louise xx

The Allen Family:

We live separately not through choice but through circumstances, my husband left the army shortly after we married in 2001 and joined the police force. We moved out of our home town for this and 6 years later and two children he re-joined the Army! This was no easy situation, however we muddled through. I decided to stay in our home town as our first child was about to start primary school and we had only recently arrived back in our home town of Torquay in Devon.  When I met my husband, I had a good career in local authority employment and had bought several properties on my own. Whilst married we had our own property and I did not want to lose a “home” for married quarters. For me, I wanted the same school throughout the early years.
 

His first posting back in was Op Herrick 10! My worst fear but we got through the time with my good friends and family around us and our sons school were an amazing support. On his return, we settled into the commuting at weekend’s lifestyle. He has so far been at four different locations and 2 tours of Afghanistan! Employment for me is excruciatingly difficult being unaccompanied. But that’s another story!
 

It can be a lonely time during the week but I keep busy and the children and I have settled into our little routines, I encourage them to do outside school activities as much as possible to make the week pass quickly. I personally do feel often; very isolated from the Army community and even forget I am an Army wife at times. I do get bogged down with the daily grind of lonely nights, not being able to go out in the week unless I pay an expensive sitter, always attending sports days, parent evening, school plays  etc. alone; but I have accustomed to it.  Military social media groups keep me in the loop too!
 

Our children are now 12 and 8 but our youngest suffers with separation issues, she is my little “cling on” but is also a daddy’s girl, she adores anything military related, camo coloured clothes,  DM boots (preferably green/sand coloured) and every Hero’s day at school, dresses as Dad. She is rather well known for it around her school now! Our eldest struggles with the thought of another tour or gets very emotional if Afghanistan is mentioned or talked about but he tends to hide it and just says, “don’t talk about it, It makes me cry” Thankfully we do visit barracks on occasions but we don’t know anyone on site as we are not there often enough.
 

I ask myself daily why don’t we just move to MQ? I guess many would and do ask the same – My answer is always because although both our children want us to live together, neither want to leave their school and friends either. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way here; but I think I made the right choice.
 

My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures is a site I found when my husband was on his second Op Herrick tour (17) – this was a particularly difficult tour for all of us but the separation packs and support for Little Troopers; as you call them, is just wonderful.  This is our children’s only link with the military world and makes them both feel a little special to be part of it.
 

Thank you for all you do at My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

Why do you do it?

As a family we are on the move again this summer...it feels like we have only just unpacked our boxes but 2 years flys by it seems in a flash so I am digging out the parcel tape once again.

We are in the window where you have requested a house on an online system your husband/wife isn't quite sure how to work, you are eagerly waiting to be allocated a house where your furniture won't fit, you will need a whole new set of blinds and your life will just look very different in just 10 weeks.

I was on the phone to a journalist this week doing an interview and she asked me a question which I haven't contemplated before and it really made me think "Why do you do it"

Blimey...erm.....umm.... Why do I do it?

I live this life because...I chose to be a soldier when I left school and it lead me to my husband, I now choose to support my husband and his job choice because it makes him who he is, if I made him leave before he was ready I'm not sure he'd still be the same person?

Why do I run the charity? I dedicate all my spare time outside my job to the charity because I so believe in all the Little Troopers, I so believe the little things count....I can not single handily make every service child happy and I can't take away the unique challenges they face but I know this charity can make a difference , even if just a small one, its a worthwhile difference.

We will all have different reasons for 'doing this' but we are all in this together and stronger people because of this life, it is only speaking to people with no experience of the military it highlights how alien it is to many.

Have a watch of this video...it reiterates why 'I'm doing this' for my soldier and for all the Little Troopers.

Here's to another successful summer for all of us who are onto new chapters and for My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures with some VERY exciting times ahead!

Louise xxx

Tesco Mum of the Year 2015

"Hi Louise, you've been nominated for Tesco Mum of the Year"

 

A bizarre phone call I took on a dark winter afternoon, what a lovely thing to be nominated for I thought. I did some research and saw that in its 10th year Tesco Mum of the Year was a great initiative celebrating women who are mum's but also doing some amazing things.

 

Being a mummy is something I truly love, my Little Trooper who is now 11 is something I am very proud to have created! to think someone out there thought I was worthy of Tesco Mum of the Year was overwhelming but there were thousands of entries and 28 shortlisted so I was sure I wouldn't win.

 

Just before Christmas I got a call to say I had won! I was Supportive Mum of the Year,  I was one of a lucky 7 women to have been chosen as winners for 2015 Tesco Mum of the Year! Blimey.....

 

I went up to London in early January for a photo shoot for Tesco Living magazine and met all the other winners, I was in great company, inspiring stories from women across the country all fulfilling their passion for various reasons often related to personal circumstance.



Enjoying some bubbles with some other winners after the photo shoot

 

When we experience things in life we often as humans want to stop others from experiencing the same hurt, discomfort, pain and it makes us try to create a barrier for others, this is definitely where My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures was born from.

 

Read all about the other winners and their stories here; 2015 Tesco Mum of the Year Winners

 

The 2015 winners

I'm humbled to be a part of something so special it really is a lovely team and its like a huge, warm hug of encouragement for what you are trying to achieve, I feel really lucky and definitely can't wait for the awards on 1st March at The Savoy in London!

 

Most of all I am so pleased the cause My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures and the Little Troopers is being talked about and raised as something important and worthy, children of British Army soldiers need support, they need a network and resources that enable them to deal with the unique daily challenges a military family can face and as lovely as it is to win awards such as this my main objective as always is to make sure the Little Troopers are continually supported.

 

Will update post the awards! Louise xxxx

Gifts I’m grateful for this year

As the Little Troopers open their presents today, I thought I would share with you the things that I have been grateful for this year. 

The first is the incredible support from you; our supporters and the Little Troopers. We have had a fun year with our second trip to Germany, this time Paderborn and a trip to Northern Ireland planned for January 2015.  We’ve sent out thousands of Separation Packs, written hundreds of Birthday cards for Little Troopers and you’ve bought lots and lots of hoodies to show your support.

Second was our amazing Summer Camp where over 300 people camped out, got together and shared their experiences of being part of the Army family.  This sharing continued online through the Facebook, gathering ideas and coping mechanisms for the time our soldiers are away.

The third is the thing that makes this all possible – Fundraising. I can’t believe that you have raised over £15,000 this year purely from fundraising activities and donations so we can continue to support our Little Troopers. The £1,000 that we recently received from Tesco (as part of my nomination for Mum of the Year) has really helped us develop our website and add to the community section to help even more families connect.

And finally… we have received some amazing media coverage this year from the Calendar appearing in several National Newspapers to sharing your stories in Magazines and of course the Military Awards ‘Milles’ in December 2014.

Although life can be quite mad sometimes, I feel privileged to run this charity and I can’t wait to see what 2015 brings.

 

I want to thank all of you personally from the bottom of my heart for supporting My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures and Little Troopers over the last year and I can't wait to meet lots more of you very soon.  

 

I’ll sign off with one of my favourite messages from this year:

“Wow oh wow! To be apart of today and your amazing charity! I am overwhelmed by today my boys had such an amazing experience I cannot thank you enough for everything you do for our military children.”

 

Lots of love, Louise xxxx

Here's a few of my fav photos with Little Troopers I've met:

With a Little Trooper in Cottesmore

At Lapland UK with some Little Troopers

At the Millies with some Little Troopers who surprised me on stage!

 

We need your support now more than ever

The dust has settled a little after a very exciting week and I really wanted to blog in answer to a question I keep getting asked;

"Afghanistan is over now so all the soldiers are at home aren't they"

 

 

I really wish this was true, I wish with all my heart that this Christmas every family would have their soldier with them by the tree but that just isn't the case.

 

The British Army have many commitments and these are changing constantly in the UK and abroad and this takes soldiers away from the family home, ok so not all these commitments make the headlines and not all of them are combat zones but they do still mean elongated separation of a soldier and child, the added complication of this to a child is that it's over and over again constant separation of varying lengths.

 

Please don't think that because operations aren't in the news they aren't happening because they are, every single day of the year there are Little Troopers with a soldier parent away and it is so important today and every day we are here to support them and ensure they are connected and bonded with the soldier who's away.

 

How can you help?

 

We want to ensure we are ALWAYS here for British Army families and our dream is an Adventure Centre.

 

The Adventure Centre will be a focal point for families to make memories prior to a separation and to reconnect post a separation period. While soldiers are away we would offer weekends so families can meet others in a similar situation. The centre would provide various adventure activities, which would be varied throughout the year.

Being in an Army family is a unique experience, our Little Troopers have a lot to contend with.  We can’t stop the loneliness and fear children feel when their parent is away, but we can make them feel safe, secure and distracted so they don’t reach crisis point.

To achieve our centre we are launching a Fundraising campaign to raise £1million.  This would cover:

• Refurbishment of a building to accommodate 25 families with common areas and an administration building
• Catering areas - kitchen, dining
• Adventure equipment - climbing wall, high ropes course, equipment store
• An activity hall for indoor activities
• Resource area for day courses for families
• A project manager
• Transport

You can help us by signing up to our Fundraising Trek in April or clicking here to make a donation.

 

Help me make the dream happen for Little Troopers. Louise xxx

 

 

 

 

We Won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last 6 weeks or so have been a whirlwind since we got the call telling us we had been nominated and were in the running for the Support to the Armed Forces Award at the 2014 Sun Military Awards or 'Millies' as they are known.

It was a lovely experience doing some filming throughout November to create a 4 minute film showcasing the work of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures and why we exist.

On 10th December 2014 I was invited to 10 Downing Street for a reception with all the other nominees, we had a police escort and three coaches of service personnel and others arrived at lunchtime. It was a great experience and so beautiful inside especially as the Christmas decorations were up!

 



On the evening of 10th December all nominees and guests were taken to the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich. It was so amazing to walk up the red carpet and the venue was awash with Royalty and celebrities everywhere you looked! After a champagne and canapé reception we were asked to take our seats.
Philip Schofield and Amanda Holden were presenting the evening which was amazing from start to finish, the third award to be announced was Support to the Armed Forces and as soon as they started the film I knew we had won as my daughter was on the huge screen! I cried my eyes out it was so overwhelming and then I had to walk up on stage!!!
Jeremy Clarkson and Mary Berry presented the award to me and they were so delightful and put me at ease before I had to say a few words...I don't even remember what I said now!!!
There were some surprises on stage but I will not spoil it before the show has aired.....you will have to watch on 18th December ITV at 8.30pm.

It was amazing for Little Troopers to get this recognition and I couldn't be prouder to be part of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures. Don't forget to watch A Night of Heroes on ITV 18th December!

Me & My Soldier Calendar 2015

Throughout September 2014 we were asking for image entries for our Me & My Soldier 2015 calendar, I am always astounded by the volume of entries which increases year on year and the special moments captured that people are willing to share and let others have a peek into their life as a British Army Family.

Entries came in from families based all over the world and judging the competition was such a tough job for myself and the trustees but we eventually decided on 12 images plus a front cover and they are just adorable with a further 27 being too good not to feature so we squeezed them onto the back cover....we just wish every image entered could feature but its just not possible.

Once again when we launched the calendar and the winning images we were really lucky that they featured in many national newspapers, its always a mad dash to the newsagents to buy the papers and I lay them all out and smile, a very proud smile.

So many pre orders have come in for the calendar which has just gone into print and will be ready for dispatch mid November 2014 ready for Christmas presents!

It is so special and I just love that the calendar strikes a cord with so many, I hope you enjoy the images month on month throughout 2015.

Buy your calendar HERE

The reason....

It has been a while since a blogpost, I always think they should come from the heart and my heart has been touched recently; over the months I meet so many families, wonderful people and adorable Little Troopers.....ALL special but sometimes a situation touches me and makes me even more determined to reach as many British Army families as possible.

Increasingly we get turned down for funding, people saying that our cause isn't t worthy or  'sensational' enough but I know that everyone who has leaned on the charity would disagree, its a needed charity, it's one of a kind and it is supporting thousands on very little income. The emails and comments we receive on a daily basis show Little Troopers DO face unique challenges due to their parents serving and they DO require support, resources and recognition especially when a soldier parent is away.

The world is changing, people live differently and everyones situation is individual yet support never seemed adaptable...people divorce, people choose not to marry, people choose to buy their own house, people choose to be unaccompanied, but one thing remains the common thread children have soldiers who serve in the British Army and they are sent away for varying times due to their job.

In the summer we ran an event in Colchester, a lovely lady attended with her two little boys and her story really struck a cord and I tell many people their story because it proves the point I am always trying to make;

They were mid twenties, had a house and two children....one day her partner decided he wanted to join the Army, a decision which she supported, 7 months later he had done training and was in Afghanistan, her life had been turned upside down in a matter of months, it was an alien environment to her, they hadn't managed to move into Army housing and lived miles away from her partners base, she felt isolated and her children needed slowly integrating into their new life. She sought out My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures and here she was at an event miles from home wanting to get support and be part of the My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures Community. I think that day she showed real bravery.

I have followed their journey and received a lovely email this week from the family thanking us for the support, the events, the separation packs they bought, the panto tickets they won....we have helped and eased the pain of the separation for those children and their mummy and given the soldier the knowledge his family was supported. We have achieved our main objective as a charity.

I know that this charity matters and families who make an impression make it worthwhile, all the people we connect with make it worthwhile. Everyone has their own story, their own situation but one thing is certain the community that is growing is supporting everyone with a soldier parent............regardless.

Hohne, Germany. Same Difference, Chelsea FC and lots of Little Troopers!

It had been a long time in the planning but the time was right to take My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures to Germany, the Brigade had deployed on a nine month tour of Afghanistan and we wanted to put a smile on some little faces.

32 Engineer Regiment were fundamental in the weekend happening, without their support it would not have happened. We arranged for Sean and Sarah from Same Difference to run a Pop Academy and Chelsea FC Foundation to come with 7 coaches to run a football day.

The weekend was overwhelming in so many ways, we met so many amazing families, the warmth we were greeted with was touching. We spoke to so many people who agreed the Little Troopers need the support we provide so much and we achieved making over 230 children smile in times that are tough for them with a soldier parent away for so many months.

For me it was a weekend I will never forget, I cried some tears....the charity is growing into something I never dreamed of and to see so many benefitting makes all the hours worthwhile but also the children make me never want to give up, I want to make sure EVERY child with a British Army soldier parent(s) has the opportunity to be supported by us and our events and resources.

On Saturday a little girl come up to me and said 'I really really miss my daddy' I wanted to squeeze her tight, 'I can't bring your daddy home today but I can make sure you have an amazing day' later that day sure enough I saw the little girl skipping out the door. Mission accomplished! She had come in a sad little girl missing her daddy and for one day she forgot her worries.

The entire weekend was a total success with an extra special thank you to 32 Engr Regt who presented us with a very unexpected cheque for E1,600 from the Saturday evenings fundraising Oktoberfest which we were so grateful to receive.

We wish all the soldiers a safe tour and we hope we brought a small positive at the beginning of a long tour and we hope to see all the brave Little Troopers again very soon.

An amazing weekend in the history of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures, one many will remember for a very long time.

Louise xx

Snowdon Challenge Weekend - You can't predict the weather!

I am writing this blog now we have a Plan B....it may not have been such a cheery post had we not secured a Plan B!

April 6th is our Snowdon Challenge weekend, it has been in the planning for months and months, so many hours has gone into the preparation, so many people are in training, so many Little Troopers have been raising funds and looking forward to this special weekend and suddenly the snow comes and comes and comes in Llanberis. I have never been so obsessed with the Met Office website!

It became quite clear that the weather may not ease up on the mountain and I was sent this YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6RLu-LwRZM OH MY GOODNESS, what are we going to do?! 100 people registered to climb to the summit of Mount Snowdon in less than two weeks and it really doesn't look like it is going to be possible, it would be dangerous in the current conditions to attempt it...but we can't cancel, we wont cancel....there must be an alternative but can we really turn this around in 10days?!

I am not one to give up and I knew that out there would be someone who would help us in our hour of need, I sent an email to a local company called Boulder Adventures http://www.boulderadventures.co.uk/ they saw our email and called me on Easter Sunday....they could help AND it was a fantastic opportunity for us and a real challenge for everyone involved.

So April 6th we will be heading to Snowdonia and a nearby quarry in Llanberis where we will be abseiling, we will continue to abseil the 90ft drop until it equates the height of Mount Snowdon, so we will be climbing the mountain but in a different way to what we had planned!

On a personal level it will be a real challenge, I have abseiled when serving and it really wasn't my favourite thing but both Linda and I are determined to face our fears! Lots of people are ready to take on this new challenge and it makes all the sponsorship worthwhile, it really will test peoples resolve but we are all there for one reason... to support The Little Troopers at Home....

So onwards with this week and we can not wait for the weekend to come, meet lots of new faces from the My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures community and spend some great time with lots of Little Troopers. See you in the next post which will be full of photos from the challenge weekend!

Lots of love until then xxx

Snowdon Trek 2013

Rewind 2 years....I personally have such fond memories of the trek we completed in 2011 (See previous Post HERE) I learnt so much, was on an emotional roller coaster and the trek gave me a focus and fundamentally having it to focus on got me through the tour we were in the middle of. I am so thankful for that, that tour was a dark place for me and my Little Trooper and the trek got us through.

It seemed only right we did it again and brought lots of you on the journey with us, I feel so emotional about it, so many people have registered and to think we will be sharing the path with friends old and new is so heartwarming.

Yes we are doing it to raise awareness of the charity and yes we hope to raise some pennies to enable us to run events throughout 2013 for Little Troopers but its more than that...its creating a community of people who all have something fundamental in common, people who without explanation understand, people who can relate. That's special.

The weekend in April is about achievement, community and cake!!! We have arranged drinks the night before the trek, cake at the bottom and a group meal after the trek, an opportunity to chat, share experiences but also celebrate what we are part of.

The journey since the first trek is mind blowing, My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures has been founded and registered as a charity, lots of Little Troopers have come to events and many emails have been cried at...there's so many of you out there pleased there is now something we can all dip into wherever we are based.

So 2013 is quite a milestone....6th April we visit the point where it all started and I REALLY can't wait!

(There is still some places to register to join us, email: fundraising@mydaddyisasoldieradventures.org for info pack and registration form)

2012...what a year!

WOW what a year 2012 was, we provided events across the country for over 1272, we had over 15,000 visits to our blog and met so many special Little Troopers.

The biggest thing for many is a community is growing, friendships are being forged and the support is very real and people can draw so much from being with others living a similar life.

Not rank dependant, not regiment dependant, not location dependant, not corps dependant just dependant on you being a British Army family and wanting to be part of My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

Something really special is evolving and it has honestly been one of the most amazing years of my life and we cant wait for more of you to join our community and the adventures we go on with the Little Troopers!

Heres to 2013 but first....heres a reminder of an amazing 2012!!!!

Me and my Soldier

I witnessed a moment, a special moment between my soldier and my Little Trooper earlier in the summer;

It was such a spontaneous, heart felt moment I wanted to capture it without them knowing and preserve it forever.

Children of soldiers' face unique challenges on a daily basis but they are so very proud. I know my child holds her daddy in her heart, has a sad face when he leaves and beams when he arrives home, it truly melts me every time I witness their closeness.

We knew many other Little Troopers across the world would be capturing special moments with their soldiers and we knew these would be perfect to bring together in a calendar. An amazing way to celebrate British Army soldiers and their children!

'Me and my Soldier' was launched across the world in a quest to get as many special photos or drawings of Little Troopers and their soldiers sent into us at My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures, the competition closes on 28th September 2012 when the 12 chosen entries will be announced. Prizes also to be won for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place.

The 2013 calenders will go straight into print and go on general sale mid October and can be pre ordered via our online shop: Pre Order 2013 Little Trooper Calendar here

With every entry that comes into competition@mydaddyisasoldieradventures.org we shed a tear and we feel honoured you are sharing these precious moments with us, judging will be so hard but for now keep those entries coming in and know that this really will be a calendar like no other to cherish and we will all be privileged to see a glimpse into the amazing bond between a Little Trooper and their soldier.

Little Troopers....very special children

A Little Trooper is a child of a serving British Army soldier, doesn't matter how old they are they will always be a Little Trooper! Over the last year we have met lots and lots of Little Troopers, in fact we have run events for over 1,000 already since December 2011.
They are the reason My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures exists and they are the reason we have spent so many great days running various events across the country this year.

Children of soldiers' are special, they are resilient and strong but they also face unique challenges on a daily basis often being separated from a parent when they are sent away from the family home on duty for long periods of time.

After events Little Troopers come and thank us for running the event when really we should be thanking them, for being such joys to work with and such a rewarding group of children. They clearly get so much from being in the company of other British Army children where there is an unspoken understanding that all in the room 'get it' and they are, for that day, distracted from their current situation which maybe that they haven't spoken to Mummy or Daddy for a couple of weeks.

We were sent a letter recently a Little Trooper sent to his Mums workplace, we cried tears that the charity and events had obviously made and impact and we want to share his words:

My name is XXXXX and I am 12.  My mum works for XXXXXX and has done for a long time. 

I am writing to you for help in donating to My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures which is a charity that has helped me and my sister a lot and I want to help them back.  My dad is a soldier and is away a lot, he is away now and has been for 6 months.   My daddy is a soldier was set up by 2 army mums who organise fun days and weekends for military children whilst their mum or dad is away.  I have been on lots since my dad went away, I got to go to their xmas party in London and Harrods gave us a xmas present, I had football training with Chelsea Football Club and learnt to make pasta with Jamie Oliver but what means more to me is I got to meet and make new friends.

Making new friends is the most important to me as I can share how I feel because I know they are missing their dads too.  We help each other because I know when I am sad it makes my mum sad too and I know my mum really misses my dad when he is away.

My dad is going to Afghan at xmas and I really really hope we can raise lots of money for them so I can continue to meet lots of new friends.

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you can help?

THANK YOU to all the Little Troopers for the smiles we witness, the laughs we see and the strong children you are and continue to be.

To close this blogpost we wanted to share the poem of the Military Child:

The official flower of the Military child is the Dandelion. Why?

The plant puts down roots almost anywhere, and it's almost impossible to destroy. It's an unpretentious plant, yet good looking.

It's a survivor in a broad range of climates.

Military children bloom everywhere the winds carry them. They are hardy and upright. Their roots are strong, cultivated deeply in the culture of the military,...... planted swiftly and surely. They're ready to fly in the breezes that take them to new adventures, new lands, and new friends

.

Military children are well-rounded, culturally aware, tolerant, and extremely resilient. Military children have learned from an early age that home is where their hearts are, that a good friend can be found in every corner of the world and in every color, and that education doesn't only come from school. They live history.

They learn that to survive means to adapt, that the door that closes one chapter of their life opens up to a new and exciting adventure full of new friends and new experiences.  

FOR THE LITTLE TROOPERS AT HOME

Why this? Why now?

There's quite a history to My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

I was a soldier and my partner still is a soldier, we have an 8 year daughter, we have encountered Kosovo, Iraq, Cyprus UN tour, Canada and Afghanistan many a time before she was born and since, add onto that countless field exercises and I think we calculated in her 8 years her daddy has been away cumulatively 4+ years of her life.

When she was very young it really was a case of out of sight out of mind, they know no different and the onus is on you, the parent behind, to cope, get by and bring them up. I wont lie it was a very bumpy ride for us. I was still serving, we were living in Germany, Madison was a baby, chuck in a war starting, sprinkle in a few challenging situations and lets say it made me the strong independent woman I am today!!

October 2010; nothing could have prepared me for the 7 months ahead.

Fuel levels were already very low as we had endured a long pre deployment training package over the summer and a few courses so I'd already 'coped' alone for 3 or 4  months.
Our situation is very different now than before in that I have left the army and pursued a very different career but that is a full time commitment, our daughter is now at school which we all know brings with it lots of dates, assembly's etc etc and of course they want to do brownies, street dance, golf (?!) and all the rest so lets say I was juggling a fair few balls and spinning a couple of plates for good measure!

Tony deployed, I was broken. I always am for 2 weeks or so before I pick myself up and carry on, but it took longer this time. 

I remember being sat on a train going to a meeting in London on Remembrance Day, suddenly over the tannoy the driver announced there would be the 2 minutes silence. There on the train I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face, they wouldn't stop, I was biting my lip hard but they just wouldn't stop. Some lovely women on my table seat gave me tissues and when I told them my situation it was hugs all round, they were my saviours that day. I got off the train and trotted off to my meeting mascara smudged down my face. It hit me hard, this was real, this was our life, and it was raw emotion that I couldn't contain.

It was evident that Madison was struggling this time, she was older and you can't shelter children from the news, the radio, newsround, papers, people ringing and asking....this tour of duty I could tell was going to be like nothing we'd been through before.
Contact from Afghanistan was particularly awful , we'd go 10 days or so with nothing, no letters, calls, not a dickie bird and that in itself is stressful.

Madisons behaviours were subconscious to her, she wasn't aware they were a result of anxiety or worry as they were subtle changes; waking in the night, every night, twice a night! regressing to behaviours of a  very small child...not dressing, not wanting to do anything alone, asking where I was going even if I was just leaving the room!

I was exhausted, but then a call from the school, there had been an incident.
Madison had taken a stone into school, her daddy had bought it back from his last tour in Afghanistan, she showed it to the class. A child then raised her hand, I believe innocently and said ' Your daddy is going to die out there' (writing that I am now in tears) it was obviously a shocking thing and Madison was undoubtedly rocked by it, she had never contemplated this thought. I was sent a letter of apology from the childs mother and I tried to talk to Madison and explain the child hadn't thought through what she was saying.

I came home, I googled 'support for army child with dad in Afghanistan' the results were disappointing. There was some support from the regiment, booklets but nothing child specific, nothing to distract my daughter from the worry of her daddy being in a war zone, nothing to explain her recent behaviour changes, nothing purely because 'I am 7 and I'm sad because I can't see or speak to my daddy when I want' ........just nothing a google search page full of US Army initiatives we couldn't use.

I then decided to do something about it, the trek was born out of a letter Madison wrote (see a previous blog post) I absorbed myself in the trek of Snowdon with Madison which was a life changing chapter of my life and has evolved into My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures.

I know there are thousands of you that will relate and agree that support for army children is needed for all the reasons I have talked about and its needed now, we can't eliminate war or daddy's and mummy's being soldiers and going away but we can go some way to eliminate the loneliness and fear an army child can feel when that happens and give them a secondary community and other children who are going through the same. Make them feel safe, secure and distracted.

For the little Troopers at home....

is why.

We hope you join us on the My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures journey!

Lou xx

The objects of the Charity are to enhance the support already given to British Army children via various sources by the following, but not exclusively.

·         To undertake to promote and enhance the quality of life of those who have a serving parent away from the family home

·         To provide workshops and activities that offers a distraction to British Army children in a safe, secure and familier community environment

• To give the parent serving their country away from the family home the reassurance that their child(ren) have support
• To offer the parent in the family home the opportunity of a secondary community and support network

We see a time in the future when British Army Children will benefit from various nationwide workshops and activities covering many different interests, run by My Daddy is a Solider Adventures and appointed regional co-ordinators, in time these would spread worldwide to where the British Army serve.  Our Children will be able to have a positive experience with our events with children in a similar situation.  Our ultimate goal is to open a residential adventure centre available to all British Army Children with a parent away providing a retreat with planned activities, indoor and outdoor, offering respite in a community environment.

My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures has been born!!!!!!!!!!

I promised we would be back and we are!!!! We have been so excited to tell you all about our plans and for our dream to begin becoming a reality....

Last year was a really tough one for many reasons for my daughter and I but I learnt many things, the biggest thing being I want to raise awareness of what army children have to contend with at such a young age and I wanted alongside Linda to help distract and provide comfort for army children with a parent away from the family home.

Researchers have found that children with parents who are deployed to war tend to worry more and be afraid and sad. During war, a child may feel their world is less safe and predictable. Children may fear that the parent who is deployed may die in the war. We have experienced this first hand and this is why we want to help.  We want to help the children explore the destination of where the absent parent has gone, we want to design workshops and activities to help offer a distraction to their current family situation and offer the comfort of a secondary community where others understand.

And so in June 2011 My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures was born!!!

Our aim is to provide easily accessible activities via the web, and activity workshops, bookable online for all British Army children with a parent serving away from the family home to attend, offering a distraction to the child at this difficult time. 

We see a time in the future when British Army Children will benefit from various nationwide workshops and activities covering many different interests, run by My Daddy is a Solider Adventures and appointed regional co-coordinators, in time these would spread worldwide to where the British Army serve and their families live. 

Our children will be able to have a positive experience with our events with children in a similar situation. 

Our ultimate goal is to open a residential adventure centre available to all British Army Children with a parent away providing a retreat with planned activities offering respite in a community environment.

We are in the process of exploring initial funding to launch the site and beginning the journey to making a difference to the lives of British Army children, if you think you can help us in raising the funds, offering workshops or resources do make contact with us!

We shall also be running the annual My Daddy is a Soldier Adventures fundraising challenge in June 2012 which is going to be really exciting and we hope many more british army children will be coming along and joining in the challenge - we will be announcing more details soon!!

If you would like any further information or would like to help us on our journey then contact the founders:

Linda.Trickett@mydaddyisasoldieradventures.org

Louise.Fetigan@mydaddyisasoldieradventures.org

So there we are, that’s what we have been working on over the last few months and this will be our main focus in the coming months.  I know so many of you relate to this and we can't wait for the My Daddy community to grow.

Look forward to updating you very soon.......